A Heart of Gang (The Centofanti Gang Book 1) Read online

  When we had graduated high school, I stayed in New York to attend college while she went to California to pursue her dreams of being a culinary chef. We kept in touch via video chat and text messages, and she even moved back when I told her I was pregnant with Ava.

  Skylar never judged me for the decisions I made, and we avoided the subject of Ava's father altogether. I was forever grateful for Skylar and her friendship.

  “I probably should get dinner started," I glanced at the clock, which read 5:30 pm in bright green light. "Would you help me please?"

  "Sure. What about Daniel? Is he coming too?"

  "He's still with his family in Florida."

  I left it at that as I picked Ava up and got her settled into her highchair, giving her a spoon to play with while Mom washed her hands at the kitchen sink. We began making dinner, which consisted of steaks, baked potatoes, salad, green bean casserole, and my recipe of homemade mac ‘n cheese. I cut the cheese blocks into thin slices while Mom cooked the steaks to perfection.

  Forty-five minutes later, dinner was just about done, and the table was set for three when Sky came walking in, snow clinging to her auburn curls; she had her own key to my house, just like I had my own key to hers. I grinned when she walked into the kitchen and made kissy faces at Ava, who cooed and giggled in delight.

  "Hey, Jade. Hi, Sofia," Sky said as Mom turned off the oven.

  "Hello, Skylar. How are you doing? How’s work?" Mom hugged her.

  "I'm doing fine, work is going great. I just had a huge order for one of the fashion studios downtown for the holidays. Everyone loved the eggnog pie I came up with. How are you feeling? Your flight was good?"

  "I'm terrific!" Mom exclaimed cheerfully and I rolled my eyes playfully, shaking my head. Mom was a little over enthusiastic around Christmas. I guess the excitement about feeling the Christmas Spirit ran in the family. “The flight went as smoothly as one could hope for.”

  “She was asleep for most of it.” I winked at Sky, who giggled at Mom’s guilty expression.

  “You’re not supposed to tattle on your mother.” She playfully scolded me, swatting the hand towel in my direction.

  "All right, so dinner's done. Afterwards, we can finish decorating the living room once I put Ava to bed," I said as I put the last food dish on the table.

  We sat down at the table, said prayers, and began to eat, talking about random things, and laughing. Thankfully, the topics of Daniel and Ava's father were avoided for the rest of dinner. Mom and Sky began cleaning up the kitchen while I gave Ava a bath and got her to bed. When I came back into the kitchen, everything was cleaned and put away.

  "You didn't have to clean up everything. I could have helped with my own kitchen," I looked at Mom and Sky, who were sitting at the island countertop. They both had mugs of hot chocolate sitting in front of them and Mom handed one to me as I leaned against the countertop on the other side of her.

  "It’s the least we could do," Mom patted my hand reassuringly. "We know you're struggling with balancing everything while taking care of your baby."

  "I'm not struggling," I began to protest but Sky cut me off.

  "Jade, it's nearly 8 pm on Christmas Eve and you're just now finishing the decorating," she pointed out. Mom nodded in agreement. “You got the boxes out the day after Thanksgiving and they were left in the corner of the dining room..”

  "I... I...," I sighed in defeat, unable to come up with a solid excuse; they both would’ve seen right through any lie I sputtered. "Okay, I admit it. It's been a little difficult the last year. But isn't it difficult for all single parents at first? At least financially?"

  "Not this bad, sweetheart." Mom smiled wearily. "But now you have nothing to worry about."

  "What are you talking about?" I asked in confusion as she reached for her purse. She withdrew a long white envelope and handed it to me. My name was scrawled across the front in purple ink, her elegant handwriting recognizable anywhere.

  "I was going to wait until tomorrow to give this to you. But now seems the more perfect time," she beamed. "Your house is paid off and there is a college fund for Ava. There's also a fund for you to use as you wish. Whether it's clothes or a new car or food. Whatever you want."

  "How did you do this?" I whispered, tears welling in my eyes as I looked over each paper.

  "I used to be a singer before I had your brother. I had maybe four or five big songbooks that I sold to various record companies over the years and I saved the money for you kids. Well, I didn't need it.” She smiled at me and rolled her eyes playfully. “I have more than enough coming in from my books. Which they will also be turned over to you when I die. That's another thing I want to talk to you about."

  "What?" I looked at her, suddenly worried by the slight change in her voice. She sighed.

  "There's no easy way to say this, so I'm going to get straight to the point. I have cancer. The doctor says it isn't very big and it's not life threatening right now. I start treatment on the first to make sure it doesn't get to that point. But… there’s a good chance the treatments won’t work for me. We’re going to see how it goes first before we start to worry."

  "Oh, Mama. Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked, a tear rolling down my cheek. “Do the boys know?”

  "You had enough going on," she wiped the tears away. "And I told your brothers this morning before I left for the airport. I made them swear not to tell you if they talked to you before I had the chance. Besides, I'm still here. I’m still alive."

  I looked at the woman sitting next to me and really saw her as if it were the first time I met her. Her chestnut brown and gray hair had lost its previous bounce and shine as it laid almost flat against her face. Her eyes seemed to have lost the light inside and her skin looked more pale than usual. I noticed the bags under her eyes and knew that she was lying about the cancer being non-threatening.

  I gave her a big hug, noticing how tiny and fragile she felt in my arms. Sky wrapped her arms around both of us and we stayed like that for a few minutes, letting the unspoken words fill the air around us.

  "Okay, girls. We have decorating to get done if we want to make sure Ava's first Christmas is special." Mom said, wiping away her own tears. Silently, we began working on the rest of the living room.

  After a while, the tree was the only thing left on the list to decorate. Sky pulled over the boxes of ornaments and we sorted through which ones we wanted to put on the tree this year. Mom put the lights on the tree while we picked out the better ornaments. A lot of them were the shiny solid colors. I had a few that I made over the years, especially my sophomore year of high school. That was when I discovered Pinterest and began making my own decorations. They always turned out flawless, in my opinion.

  I picked up the ornament I made when Ava was born. It was a pale pink ball with her handprints in white. Mom and a nurse helped me make that one since I was exhausted after being in labor for hours.

  Soon, the tree was covered in various decorations of all shapes and colors. The last thing was the star, which was a present from Sky last year since we celebrated Christmas together, just the two of us. Sky and I put the star on together and we climbed down the step ladder and chair to stand next to Mom. We looked at the tree in awe and I felt a rush of magic flow through me. Christmas was hands down my favorite holiday of all time.

  I sent Mom to bed with a hug and a kiss before helping Sky put all the presents under the tree. We put the ones from "Santa" on one side and the ones from us on the other. It was just after midnight when we finished making sure everything was done. The fire was still burning as we plopped onto the couch, mugs of hot chocolate and a big bowl of white chocolate popcorn between us. The only source of light came from the fireplace and the multiple strings of lights that we hung up throughout the house.

  "It looks beautiful," Sky murmured, looking around the living room. "Your decorations are amazing."

  "Thank you," I yawned. "Merry Christmas, Sky."

  "Merry Christmas, Ja
de."

  * * * * *

  A few hours later, I woke up with a start. The clock on the wall read a little after five in the morning. Sky was curled up on the other end of the couch, softly snoring. I rubbed my eyes and stretched, letting my body loosen from the awkward sleeping position. There was no way I was going back to sleep now that I was wide awake and alert. Grabbing a knitted throw blanket from the back of the couch, I made sure Skylar was covered before taking the popcorn bowls and mugs into the kitchen.

  A muffled cry came from down the hall and I knew Ava was awake. I quietly made my way to her room and picked her up from her crib. She smiled at me and made babbling noises, happy to see me. She couldn't talk quite yet, but I knew she was getting there. I took her into the kitchen and fed her some cereal and fruit along with a bottle.

  When she was done, we sat back down on the couch and cuddled as we watched Beauty and the Beast while I let Sky and Mom sleep a little longer. Around 7:30, Sky woke up and joined us as we watched Lilo and Stitch. Ava loved Stitch and giggled with delight every time he caused trouble. By the time it ended, Mom had gotten up and made French toast for breakfast. We ate cheerfully as we discussed the day’s plans.

  Once breakfast was done, I got Ava settled on the living room floor for presents. Mom had the camera ready to take tons of pictures, so we could put together a scrapbook of Ava’s childhood to give her when she was older.

  Ava had more fun ripping through the papers and playing with the ribbons than her new toys. We laughed with her as we stuck the bows in her hair and made silly faces as Mom clicked away. Once all the presents were opened, Sky and I took care of the wrapping paper as Mom set up the little kitchen "Santa" brought. After a few minutes, Ava was more interested in playing with the plastic foods with her grandma and being a chef. I was on the couch watching them with a smile on my face. Sky joined them, showing Ava how to pretend to cook.

  As Ava knocked over the frying pan Sky was using, I looked at Mom and she smiled knowingly at me. Her eyes told me I did a good job making Ava's first Christmas an incredibly special one indeed.

  I smiled back and let out a deep breath I hadn't realized I had been holding in. As I looked at my daughter, I knew that without a doubt, I'd do anything to make sure she had everything she needed. She was my little Christmas miracle, always there to remind me just how special life can be. Even on my darkest days, I'd have her as my little ray of sunshine guiding me home.

  Ava walked over to me and handed me a plate that held a piece of lettuce and tomato. Judging by the looks of it, I assumed it was meant to be a salad. I pretended to be excited and munched on my food, causing Ava to giggle and clap her hands.

  I set the toys aside and grabbed Ava up, tickling and blowing kisses into her stomach. She squirmed and squealed, trying to get away from the tickles. I laughed with her and pulled her close to me, holding her tightly. Ava laid her head on my chest and I kissed her forehead, resting my cheek on her as I breathed in the lavender scent from her lotion. Merry Christmas, my beautiful Ava.

  CHAPTER 2: GONE TOO SOON

  The warm early summer sunshine, which had been promised for the last week by local weather reports, instead decided to hide behind thick gray clouds for the day, which seemed as fitting as the sour mood gnawing inside my chest. Tugging down the black dress over my sheer black tights, I peered at my tear stained face in the mirror, momentarily thankful the water works had stopped. I didn't know if I could cry any more, although I knew as soon as I arrived at the service and spotted the casket covered in white roses, all bets were off.

  The doctors told us it was a matter of months, maybe even a couple years at the most. I wasn't expecting it to only be six short months.

  The funeral home was nearly filled to its capacity as numerous friends and family members came to say their goodbyes. A sea of black, cold and distant compared to the light grey walls accompanied by dark brown accents. The lack of color prickled the hairs on my arms and I involuntarily shivered as I took my place in the front row of chairs neatly arranged in straight lines.

  "Sofia Corbett was a remarkable woman. She was a dutiful wife, a caring mother, a loving person. She sought out the best in individuals who couldn't see it in themselves, and she took care of those who needed help, regardless of the situation they found themselves in." The pastor from Mom’s church spoke loud and clear from the front of the room, his notes stacked neatly on the podium. The room shifted in the slight unbearable heat, some fanning their faces with the programs the funeral director had printed out; with an apologetic tone, he had informed us that the air conditioning unit had stopped working moments before we arrived.

  "Sofia fought against cancer with all she had, with the support system from her children and ex-husband, who loved Sofia with everything they had. She often called me during chemo treatments to share her journey and how she was grateful for her family every day. They are the reason she didn't give up ever, even as she confessed to me she probably would've in the beginning. Her support system helped keep her alive, despite the level of aggression the cancer had become."

  I wrapped my arms tighter around my torso as a wave of fresh tears threatened to erupt while the pastor finished his speech. Dad placed a hand on my knee and gave it a gentle squeeze, reminding me that I had support to lean on.

  Maybe I was selfish for wanting more time with her. For wanting more time for Ava to spend with her grandma. Deep down, I knew I couldn't change anything, but part of me feverishly wished this was just a bad dream. That I would wake up any moment and my mom would be okay. She would be alive, and waiting to snuggle her granddaughter while watching one of the million movies I owned.

  I knew this was now my reality. My mother was dead, never coming back.

  "Is there anyone who would like to say a few words for Sofia?" Pastor Owens asked, looking out at the room. I slowly took a deep breath to make sure I was steady enough to stand up and smoothed down my dress before meeting the pastor at the podium. He nodded in understanding and shuffled out of the way, giving me space to address the small crowd.

  "My mother," I began, my voice cracking; I coughed a couple times to clear my throat before starting again. "My mother was my best friend, the person I could go to at any time of day or night for advice, for a heart to heart, for ice cream cones at midnight. She always supported me in everything, even when she felt I was wrong. She let me grow into the person I needed to be, given me the space to learn from my mistakes and figure life out. Some of my life choices may not have turned out the way she had planned, but I never heard one word of negativity from my mother."

  I paused, taking a deep breath to calm my racing heart as it shattered with every word.

  "The world will be a little less brighter now that my mother is gone. The world will not seem as big, nor will it seem as full of love and positive as mine was with her here to hug me and tell me she loves me. And that's one of the major things I'm going to miss for the rest of my life… hugs from my mom, telling me everything will be alright."

  At the pastor’s closing words, the small crowd dispersed to their vehicles, waiting to follow the hearse to the cemetery Dad had a family plot already prepared; it was the same cemetery where my grandparents and great-grandparents were laid to rest, as well as several family members who chose to stay in the area. I rode with Dad in his truck since I left my brand-new Jeep with Skylar, who was watching Ava at home, while her own car was still in the shop.

  Once we arrived at the plot, the pastor read one of Mom’s favorite passages from the Bible as my brothers and Dad carried Mom’s casket up the path. I stood firmly in my place at the left side of the plot, staring absentmindedly at the freshly exposed dirt while silent tears wet my lashes. Carefully, my father and siblings placed the casket onto the pulley system that would lower the wooden box six feet below.

  When the time came, the pastor nodded to Dad, who nudged me gently before reaching for a fistful of dirt to toss into the hole. Following suit, my brothers each took a
turn before the service drew to an end. The rest of the family and Mom’s friends slowly left the cemetery, the atmosphere shifting into a stony silence as a few lingered behind to offer condolences and hugs one more time. Dad wrapped an arm around my shoulder comfortingly as we both stared at the ground below, unable to move away.

  “I’m really going to miss her…” I whispered, wiping my hand across my cheek as I sniffled.

  “So am I, honey.” Dad kissed the top of my head. “So am I.”

  “Sure, you are.” Gio, my oldest brother, snorted as he rolled his eyes at Dad. “I bet as soon as you leave us, you’re going straight to that secretary you left Mom for.”

  “Gio, come on. This isn’t the time,” I warned him, my voice firm as I turned to face him, noticing the anger behind the calm demeanor waiting to be unleashed.

  “You have no room to talk,” Theo interrupted, his dark eyes narrowing as he positioned himself next to Gio. “You’re no better than Dad is right now.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Have you told Paul about your baby yet?” Theo spat, hurling his words into my face. “Of course, you haven’t! Nothing has changed… you’re so selfish, Jade! He deserves to know you were at least pregnant!”

  “How dare you?!?” I hissed, ignoring Dad’s arm tugging me away from my brothers. “It’s none of your business what I decide to do for me! I did what I thought was best for me!”

  “Well, at least we know the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!” Theo yelled back. “It’s not up to you to decide what’s best for Paul, just like it’s not up to Dad to decide that leaving his wife for another woman was best for Mom, let alone for us kids!”